Darkness

Sometimes
The darkness seeps in
No matter
How much the light shines

Sometimes
Reaching out
Isnt enough
To scare the demons away
Or make the monsters
Disappear
From under the bed

Even the tears
I cry
Aren't enough
To wash away the sin
Or the darkness
Just waiting to come to life
Again

 And what shall rise
In the place of my soul
I know not
But it is somewhere
Far from here
And the hell
That is lived
In this place
We call Earth.

Revelations

Gavin tossed the journal onto the kitchen table close to his wife Bethany. "What is this?"

God, her head was already aching she didn't need him trying to interrogate her. She looked at the cover, stopped drinking her morning coffee and glanced up at him. "Why do you have my journal?"

The sun filtered in through the windows but in this moment she felt anything but warm. This is why it was so hard for her write at home. She was afraid of Gavin going through her wild musings thinking the worse when it fact it was her characters living such drama. But Gavin thought everything she wrote had a personal meaning even when it didn't.

"What's going on Bethany?" He pulled out a chair sitting opposite of her. He watched as she rubbed her temples.

"What are you talking about?"

He tapped the book with his fingers looking her square in the eye. " Is this what you want? It seems to be the only damn thing you read and now you're writing about it as well. Tell me Bethany!"

"Gavin I dont know what you're talking about. That's just a story, it's a book I'm writing for Knights End Publishing."

"Don't lie to me Bethany."

She closed her eyes trying to gather her scattered thoughts. Why did he always have to try and make everything about him? It wasn't. When would he learn to accept that fact? If she couldn't have it in real life then she'd live it through the characters in her stories.  She took a deep breath trying to remain as calm as she could. "Just because I wrote this, doesnt mean I want any of it. You always said I had an active imagination so I'm trying to put it to some productive use. "

"Bullshit, I know you Bethany."

"Obviously not, Gavin."

"Are you telling me you don't feel this way at all?"

"Not with you, no." She got up and left the room. She was done being judged by his close mindedness.  She had enough with him thinking she was sick because she wanted so much more than vanilla sex. Well now, he could think all he wanted but Gavin would be doing so alone.

That story truly was meant for her new publisher but it showed just how much Gavin would never change. How much she could never let her creativity flow for fear of criticism from someone not willing to step outside of his own little bubble.

Lukas

Title: Lukas
Author: Carian Cole
Publisher: Amazon
Genre: Erotic Romance
Series: Ashes & Embers
Pages: 314
Format: Ebook
Rating: 5 Stars

Book Description:
 Storm’s younger cousin.
Vandal’s little brother.
You’ve met him in the background.

The sweet one.
The nice one.
The one they can all rely on.

The good one.

He’s a tattoo artist. He plays metal and classical music - on the violin.

He’s got a body built for sin.

He’s 24.

In comes Ivy. She’s a 36 year old single mom who hasn’t dated in 18 years.
All she wanted was a tattoo.

She got a helluva lot more :)

Being good has never been so bad.

My Thoughts :
Is there such a thing as soulmates? Lukas and Ivy makes me believe there is. This story is one to last through the ages. And what is age anyways but a number.

Lukas is a man who has had his share of joy and sorrow but never once has it stopped from seeking a person to share the rest of his life with. For someone who looks like they have it all he didnt.

Ivy, a woman who has it all or does she? The perfect husband, two kids, the white picnic fence what more could a woman want? But things arent always so perfect.

Can Lukas and Ivy make each other believe in the impossible?

This story is gripping. It will leave your heart pounding and your body quivering with such raw emotion you will forget your reading a story.

Cameo II

But her grandmother had never told her the house and grounds were haunted. No wonder it's stood empty all these years. Well, wasn't she the lucky one? Right now she didn't know whether to be pissed off, scared, or literally terrified.

How in the hell did one get rid of a malicious ghost? Her world was crashing down around her ears. Every since she'd been a teenager she'd been an atheist.  When she'd married Daniel she'd done her best to believe in his God but yet still unable. What in the hell was she supposed to believe in now?

Daniel if you're out there help me. Help our little girl. She'd never pleaded for anything before. But their daughters life was worth more than her pride.

She sat beside the well.

What pain had this little girl suffered as she died? Was she murdered? Is that why her spirit sought revenge? She trembled. The cold of the night seeped into her flesh weaving itself further into her, stripping her bones. Would putting her to rest make this nightmare end?

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She let the tidal wave surge and over flow.

Vandal

Title: Vandal
Author: Carian Cole
Publisher: Amazon
Series: Ashes & Embers
Genre: Erotic Romance
Format: Ebook
Pages:312
Rating: 5 Stars

Book Description:
She takes my breath away; she is so beautifully damaged.
Yes I had broken her, ravished her life, destroyed her happiness. I brought her to ultimate despair. I was responsible for all the pain and suffering that now brought her to her knees in front of me.

Broken.
Hopeless.
Reckless in her agony.

She is a mirror of my own tortured soul.

But what I took away I can give back.
In ways she cannot even begin to imagine.

She is everything right in all my wrongs.

She loves me. She needs me.

She has no idea I’m the one who wrecked her life.

** Vandal is a dark romance with light BDSM. He is emotionally damaged and manipulative, but still wants love. This book deals with death, grief, deception, substance abuse, depression, and graphic sex. If this is not your thing, you can skip this book and move onto the next in the series and you will not be lost. Vandal is not the sweetheart that the other guys in Ashes & Embers are - but even the dark and damaged deserve to be loved, right? **

My Thoughts :
I cried at the beginning of this book and I cried at the end. My emotions were all over the place between the characters and the story itself. Both are damaged, broken, hurt almost beyond repair but together they find a way to mend one another souls.

Vandal is a man that you wont ever forget. He is a man on a mission, a mission of self destruction. And that path cost him more than he ever thought possible. Tabitha is a woman who had it all. She is the kind of woman fairy tales are made of. But they are not the only ones who will steal your heart in this tale, there is Sterling.

They say our greatest gift is to love but what do you do when love embraces you in the ice cold depths of death, loneliness, self hatred, fear, and depression? Love is fueled by love even when you may not recognize it as Vandal and Tabitha learned for themselves. It changed them forever. Are you brave enough to let it change you? Read their story and find out.

Sad Musings

How did one find happiness again? It had been a month now since his funeral and Shannon was just as raw now as she was the day they buried him. The day they'd buried him, they had buried her heart and soul.

Carrie Ann and the new life growing within her is all that kept her going. She should be thrilled to be having another child and yet she couldn't. Now, she was a widow with a willful child and one on the way. What man would have her now? How could she possible ever hope to find someone as faithful and loving as Daniel had been.

They had been high school sweethearts. They had what felt like almost a life time together but even that wasn't long enough. The memories weren't enough anymore to keep the heart ache at bay. Carrie Ann was their shinning light, their angel. Daniel had said so himself from the day she was born.

Her hand absently goes to the slight swell of her stomach. She wonders what he would think of this one? Would he be happy to have another child? The day that it happened was going to be the day she told him he was to be a father again. But she never got the chance. She never got the chance to say goodbye. Carrie Ann never got to tell him one last time how much she loved him being her daddy.

She had yet to tell Carrie Ann that she would soon be a sister. How would she take the news? Would she be happy or would she resent this new child?

Shannon sunk down on the chair, the towel folded half way in her lap. She'd never felt so hopeless and lost before.

Should she be happy considering their circumstances or should she do what her mother suggested and get an abortion? She had no job, no money. She was living off her grandmothers charity until she was able to get back on her feet.  She'd never had to worry about that because Daniel had always taken care of money matters. He refused to let her work, said her place was at home with their baby and she had felt the same way. She'd been more than happy to be a stay at home wife. But what in the hell was she going to do now? There was no one there to take care of them long term.

She was terrified. She had no idea what to do or even where to begin.

Cameo

I'm not sure what we'll make of it, but it's a new start for us Carrie Ann."

"I know Mom. I just miss all my old friends. What if I don't make any new friends here?"

"Don't worry sweetie, you will." She peered at her daughter through the rear view mirror and saw nothing but sadness as she gazed out the window. "Just think you'll have all summer to get use to the new house, a new town before braving the halls of your mom's old school."

"Yeah, I have all summer to be bored to death," muttered Carrie Ann.

"Carrie Ann."

"Why couldn't we just stay where we were? I don't understand Mom," her voice cracked.

"Baby, I know I wish we could have stayed too. But I just couldn't afford the place after your dad died."

"We could have moved somewhere cheaper. You didn't even try," hollered Carrie Ann as tears ran down her cheeks. She hugged her bear closer to her.

Shannon let go of a heavy sigh. She knew this was going to be hard for Carrie Ann, hell it was hard for her. The last thing she wanted was to be living off her grandmothers charity. She didn't blame her daughter for feeling the way she did. Hell, she had lost her dad, her home, her friends all within the short span of a month's time. It took everything Shannon had to keep it together but she had to be strong for her daughter. They only had each other now.

Abandoned Bones

You will never get it!”

“Then why don’t you explain it to me?”

“It can’t be explained.”

“Damnit, why are you being like this?”

“Maybe because I’m tired of being betrayed constantly.”

“You think I betrayed you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh god, how wrong you are. If anything I’m the one who should be feeling betrayed."

“Oh that is rich, coming from you,” sneered Ashley.

“Always the victim aren’t you sweetheart? Never the one who is to blame? This is why things didn’t fucking work out between us. You are a psychotic case.”

Justin turned his back on her and walked away. Never once did he look back. Neither did he care to. He was tired of being the bastard, the one to blame constantly for everything even when he did no wrong. Granted those moments were rare and far in between but still he wasn’t a complete monster. People think only men are monsters when in fact it’s the women who hide under the guise of sweetness. Sweetness thick as syrup it made his stomach raw with hatred that threatened to boil over the edge of his soul. And as a matter of fact it already may have. For he was numb all the way to his toes. He felt nothing for her. Nothing but hatred, disgust for the one he thought he could care for forever. 

Thank god his eyes were finally open. He could see her for the harlot she was. No longer would be manipulated by love or caring. No, his heart had already glazed over in shiny ice shards of unwillingness to forgive. He would weep no more.

For in that hour he had laid his bones on the ground, abandoned the flesh that had once been the home of his soul. He savored the taste of fear. He let it meld with his mind, let it cut out the last remnants of his humanity.

Storm

Title:Storm
Author : Carian Cole
Publisher: Self Published
Series: Ashes & Embers
Genre: Erotic Romance
Format: Ebook
Pages: 316
Rating: 5 Stars

Book Description:
The calm before the storm…

I lived in the quiet stillness.
I felt the wind rustle, warning me, telling me to get out of its path.

But I didn’t.
I never stood a chance.

A series of weather and road mishaps leaves me trapped in the middle of a blizzard with a complete stranger. In the back of a pickup truck. For forty-eight freakin’ hours.

A stranger with long hair, tattoos, and rippling with muscle.

A stranger with an insanely sexy voice and a wicked smile that turned my insides to jelly.

A stranger who held me in his arms, calmed me, and then set a fire in me that I couldn’t put out.

Storm lives up to his name. Beautiful. Dangerously inviting. Tumultuous. Dark. A clash of hot and cold.

He’s used to getting everything he wants.

And now he wants me.

Some people chase storms for the beautiful thrill. What happens when the storm chases you?

My Thoughts:
Its an electric whirlwind of emotion. Frightened, out in a blizzard, stranded and along comes tall, tattooed, and handsome but can he really save the day?

All he wanted was peace and quiet and what does he get but a crazed , scared woman who becomes more than he ever bargained for.

Fear, death, love, lust consume not only the dynamic characters of this book but will find a way to weave its web around the reader until you cant walk away but most tie together every delicate thread between Storm and Evie.

Once you start you wont be able to put it down.

Never More

Take away the sunrise
Dip me in moonlight
Let the waves
Wash over my body
For the soul
Is no more

Innocence
Has turned to rage
The halo
Nothing more
Then tarnished horns

Pain riddles my body
Heartache seeps
Through the bones
Leaving the flesh
To rot
Until I am no more

Purity
Becomes Sin
One
Is no longer
Able to tell right
From all the wrongs
Forced upon them

Tears
Fall like rain
With no one
To catch them
Or even care
That sorrow
Is what holds
The fragile parts
Together
If only
For a little while

Time ticks by
As she searches
For something
To make her whole
That one word
That one act
Of kindness
That never happens

And so
She turns away
And Embraces
The only thing she has ever known
Letting it wrap around her
Until she is lost from sight
Except for the darkness