Closing Up Shop

 I tried to come back to blog land but apparently no matter what I try to do blogger wont allow me to upload photos anymore, so there is no point of me continuing to blog here.

 

Writing Again

 I am excited cause once more I'm back to working on a story. I would have added a picture but blogger isn't corporating with me. It's an idea for a story that I've had for a long time. It's one of those stories that just won't leave you alone.

I have my characters, some ideas for the main story theme, a chunk of the plot.Today I managed 2,273 words.

Moving On

 A lot of people may end up being mad or upset with me and that is okay but I am leaving blog land. I made a promise to myself at the beginning of the year and God has convicted me of a few things along these lines so come Saturday June 1st I will be deleting this blog. 

Thank you everyone for your support and kindness, for following me, for your support and I wish you all the very best in life.

Digital Detoxing

 

Since I've been doing a complete declutter of the house I have also decided to do one to my online life as well. 

I will still be blogging but it maybe days at a time before I get the chance to. Or when I actually want to do it. So I'm doing this with my Facebook, Instagram, Blogging, You Tube all of it. In a lot of ways I do feel the online world is and can be an addiction for someone who has that addictive personality trait. So someone like myself has to be careful that it doesn't completely consume me.

Right now there is a great deal happening in my life so I am no longer taking part in the 75 Days Soft Challenge. Real life has to come first even though I wanted to do it to help myself real time, situation just isn't compatible at the moment. Maybe later this summer. 

I am still reading, doing a bit of diamond painting and coloring to help me relax at night after a busy day. 

The last few colored pictures I did this month:

 Johanna Basford book

Johanna Basford book as well

Coco Wyo book

Coco Wyo book

 Kerby Rosanes book part 1 of double spread

Kerby Rosanes part 2 of double spread.

On the Sci-Fi coloring pages you can't tell it but it has a light gray background which hubby picked and then the colored of the smoke and rocks, world our son S helped me pick them. So in a way its a family coloring project 😁

I am still working on my health. I am adding back in Earthing. Plus I am taking up deep breathing exercises. My eating has kinda been all over the place. I have been active more than I have gotten exercise but at least I have been moving. My weight has been going between 230 to 234. It's been a yo-yo that way.

Health

 As I have been on this journey to gain back my health I've come to realize there was an event from my younger days that had an impact on me even though I didn't realize it. 

When I was 13 to 14 years old I lost a good friend to anorexia. She was a teen model at the time for a lot of local companies. That gave me my first distrust and hate for the modeling and fashion industry. 

And what was worse I never knew she had it until she passed away. Things like that were never talked about, never mentioned in public at the time. We were good friends and I never knew she was struggling with this in any way.

As a teen myself she looked ok to me body wise but that isn't what social media, stores, advertisers preach to the public on a daily basis. 

I think some part of my unconscious brain tells me if I lose the weight that is unhealthy for me that I could end up the same way as she did. Now, I know that isn't going to be the case but it just proves how things can effect us in ways we never realize. It's the subliminal messages our mind gets fixated on whether it's true or not. 

I still feel her loss to this day. The world lost a wonderful person that could have really made a difference because she forced into an extreme measure about her body and there had never been no need for it to begin with. 

Whatever you do please dont allow your daughters, granddaughters to end up one of the statics.

Story Idea

 

This is a story idea that is becoming a major part of a story I am considering writing.

Ghost Me

 

If people want to ghost me, then fine, float away. The older I get the more comfortable I am in not having people around me often. I value my peace and drama free life but I will step in when I feel it is necessary and warranted, but I do because I care. 

And if you want to consider me a bitch for doing so then so be it. Wouldn't be the first time someone thought that of me and it wont be the last time. I absolutely refuse to beg anyone to stay in my life whether its an acquaintance, friend, or family.

Stories

 I use to be this way. I use to have book shelves after book shelves filled to over flowing with novels. When I first became an avid reader the majority of books that I delve into was Historical romance. And a lot of times it was with a form of interracial couples, Native American male with a white woman. I devoured these books but you want to know what they all had in common? It was ALL BEHIND CLOSED doors. They left the sexual intimacy to the readers imagination. And I loved this because I never really pictured the characters the exact way the writer described them. 

Don't get me wrong I enjoy a good erotic romance and even love the smut but that's practically ALL you get now. There is very little story line or plot to the book. It is all very predictable. This is why I started reading Horror and Thriller books because I wanted more to the story. While I love horror and don't mind being scared and gore smearing the pages it is starting to be the same way, all very predictable. 

While I love watching fantasy movies I don't like reading them. I loved the Game of Thrones series on cable. I love the House of The Dragon series but I refuse to read the books because I don't enjoy the way the author writes. He will take 10 pgs to describe a tree. I don't need 10 pages to know what a tree looks like. 

I don't mind a bit of spice but give me the juicy parts of how the couple interacts, what drives him insane about her, what makes her furious about him but yet you know both characters would go to the end of the world for each other. Those are the type of romances I want to read. I want to laugh, I want to cry, I want to be mad for the characters sakes and I feel anymore its extremely RARE that writers will do this. Make me fall in love with the hero and wish I was the lucky lady instead of the woman on the page. 

Adult novels can delve this deep into the story, into the plot, into the characters and explore every avenue going because it's for adult readers 18 +  give me back the meat and bones of the story but so many are just the icing on the cake. I want to be able to believe I can live in their world just as I am my own. 

Yes, I am very much frustrated with reading at the moment. I went to reading middle grade and YA and while I enjoy them for what they are ALLOWED to represent it's not enough. I also think this is another reason why I dont watch a lot if any tv anymore. It is all just so LACKING. 

What do you do when you are sick and tired of the mindless numbness that is 99% tv shows, movies, books?

A New Challenge

 

I absolutely love this game. It helps me to de-stress a lot. I have been playing for 4 years. In that time I've had a lot of islands. Two of them I lost due to problems with Switch itself. Even though I've played for years I have actually never truly played the way the game was designed. 

I can get rather inpatient. I love Treasure islands. I do tend to get bored easily with layouts and villagers. But I have decided as soon as time allows I am going to start a challenge for myself. 

1. No Time Travel

2. No Treasure Islands

3. No custom made codes other than my own

4. No getting DIYs from other players 

5. Complete my Museum with Art, Bugs, Fossils 

6. Start game in current time mode 

7. No using amiibo cards to trade out villagers or fill in

In the past I have completed the Fossil section of my museum. I have no clue how long it is going to take me to play this way should be at least a year to do all of this with 1 island.

Grateful

 

It's a beautiful world we live in. God definitely gives blessings in many ways.

Friendship Isnt What It Use To Be

 

Why can't some people understand that friendships don't always last? I am only human. I have a breaking point.

I thought this person and I would always be best friends but I didn't realize it was all a show till quite a few years later. She tried to copy my life but it didn't work out for her.

I overlooked a lot of things that now in hindsight I should have seen the 🚩🚩🚩flags. But I had moved to a new state, didn't know anyone and we had several points of interest in common. Or so I had been led to believe. 

And after the original fallout I started separating myself from this individual. We had tried to move past it but once more the truth of things came to light. What made things worse is this had been going on for over the ten years I had considered her a friend. But all the while she'd been a wolf in sheep's clothing.

I had been asked to visit her by her brother in law cause she had been in very bad health so I relented to a visit one last time. I thought I had cleared the air and I had told her I didn't hate her but there were ways she needed help I couldn't give her. And on that same visit I was almost attacked by their dog who they were in no hurry to stop the potential attack. How do you expect someone to want to stay friends with you when you almost allow your dog to do physical harm to them? 

No, it don't work like that boo !!!

I never had any contact with that family after that day.

I came across her daughter yesterday in public and if looks could kill I would have been dead on the spot. She has no idea how things went down between her mother and I. But it's obvious I am the villain in this story but i have learned after therapy and cutting off other toxic people that people will believe whatever they want about me. It doesn't matter because their opinions don't support my well being or my existence in a healthy way let alone support me financially in the real world. 

I wish them the best. And I know I've changed and grown as a person because the younger me would try to soothe and make amends even though I was not at fault. I would do whatever I could to make things better even to the point of hurting myself whether mentally, emotionally or physically I would bend over backwards. 

I am no longer that person. I deserve better.

Or I would have been hellbent on getting even. I also didn't do that either. Karma got her mother. I didn't have to do anything. For a long while I felt sorry for her to tell you the truth but once I truly set down and started to connect the dots, I saw things in a different light. 

The best thing I have ever done was just simply walk away. That's exactly what I did to her daughter. Sometimes it's the only thing that can give you a sense of peace.

It's not always about having to be right, having the last word, feeling compelled to justify yourself. I've learned that the hard way in the past. 

Maybe her daughter felt justified in giving me the evil eye as we passed one another, she has her version of things, so be it. It is what it is. 

But it just goes to show you, you never know what is going to come your way. The only thing you can do is control how you react or respond to a given situation. And in self control is self respect.

 

The Ritual Killer

 

Rating 3.5 Stars

A detective hunts an international murderer committing ritualistic killings in a small Mississippi town. He seeks help from an anthropology professor who is an expert on the ancient rituals being performed.

 

I enjoyed watching this movie. I love both these actors. This story was very intriguing and the ending was an actual surprise. Not at all what you thought it would be.  

New Finishes

 

These are from Mermaids and Other Sea Creatures by Camilla d'Errico  done with kalour colored pencils.

Finish For Spooky Cutie

 

Spooky Cutie by Coco Wyo done with gel pen, crazy art markers. I did this for 4 #. #portraityearofcolor2024 @jamiescoloringlove #undertheseamay2024 @pices_colors #seashellsinmay2024 @maryfullcolours #sealife2024colours @marettateddy @get_regrammar . If I didn't get the tagging right will have to forgive me, 1st time doing it.