Health

 As I have been on this journey to gain back my health I've come to realize there was an event from my younger days that had an impact on me even though I didn't realize it. 

When I was 13 to 14 years old I lost a good friend to anorexia. She was a teen model at the time for a lot of local companies. That gave me my first distrust and hate for the modeling and fashion industry. 

And what was worse I never knew she had it until she passed away. Things like that were never talked about, never mentioned in public at the time. We were good friends and I never knew she was struggling with this in any way.

As a teen myself she looked ok to me body wise but that isn't what social media, stores, advertisers preach to the public on a daily basis. 

I think some part of my unconscious brain tells me if I lose the weight that is unhealthy for me that I could end up the same way as she did. Now, I know that isn't going to be the case but it just proves how things can effect us in ways we never realize. It's the subliminal messages our mind gets fixated on whether it's true or not. 

I still feel her loss to this day. The world lost a wonderful person that could have really made a difference because she forced into an extreme measure about her body and there had never been no need for it to begin with. 

Whatever you do please dont allow your daughters, granddaughters to end up one of the statics.