My Spiritual Path

 As I have stated before I grew up in a household of multiple faiths which actually hindered me more than was a help. My grandfather was of Native American descent and my grandmother, mother were Christian. My grandmother was raised in a home by nuns until she was of the age to marry. So she went from Catholic to Christian. 

Both my mother and grandmother had gifts that were never spoken about unless absolutely necessary. To this day my mother claims that gift came from the devil. Unfortunately, I became gifted myself. It has always been more of a curse then a gift even though it came from the Great Spirit. I say curse because my family never taught me how to deal with it. But that gift ballooned at the age of 7 for me. Thats when it became "more" in my life in many, many ways. 

I know things without knowing, I have visions, I have medium-ship abilities, I can hear and see Spirits. I am an empathy. I have searched my whole life for answers, explanations, why, how and so forth and trying to get those answers in a christian based faith is impossible. All that happened there was my being condemned as a daughter of Satan but yet they believe in God, Devil, Angels which you CANT see, they partake of holy communion which is in-vibing a replica of his flesh and blood but yet I was the one condemned.....So I walked away from their judgemental decrees. 

 

The only good thing to ever come from my walk in Christianity was Mother Mary. She will always hold a place in my heart. Whenever I did reach out to her, prayed to her to help within 24hrs she answered. It's weird cause Mother Mary always answered but Jesus and God never did. But also when I reached out to Mother Mary it was always as one mother to another mother for help and she always answered. I wasn't left for days, weeks, months, years waiting for an answer. 

I went in search of other paths and came across Wicca. Wicca is not for me because I don't just believe in everything good, love and light and do no harm. There always must be an opposite, a counter move or consequence. I'm not going to hurt anybody on purpose but I will defend myself and those I love however necessary. I came into Witchcraft which in my opinion is a little more balanced for all rights and purposes. But that didn't fit with me either although it did come to help me to start and understand the broader spiritual, unexplained things but it was too "open" to create your own thing. 

I am thankful for the Deities I have worked with and whom have helped me over the years but truth be told I was never truly comfortable with it and it never felt like coming home, a true belonging. I still found  myself searching.....I have never been comfortable calling Deities anything but Spirit or Great Spirit and that comes from my Native American partial upbringing from my grandfather. He is the one who instilled a love for the land, animals. So I left the pagan paths behind me. 

But that path bought me a tool that I will continue to use on my path and that is Tarot and Oracle cards. They help me look from within, they show me perspectives and possible outcomes of things I ask about. They are not evil. They are a tool nothing more.But I have also found out I dont connect with any kind of decks unless they are geared towards a Native American slant or animals of the wild variety. 

 

For a long while I worked with Buddha and Quan Yin which I am very thankful for. They taught me the art of calmness, learning to be patient and try to look within and realize when I was ready things would come together. 

Over the years I have had several different spiritual, paranormal experiences. I have had OBEs-Out Of Body Experiences. They were a little scary because I had no control over them either but what was so wonderful about those is I did get see the silver cord that attaches our soul to our physical bodies, thats real. 

 

And there are physical objects that can act as a portal between dimensions. I have believed in reincarnation since a young child because I have remembered past lives. To this day that is something I firmly believe in. 

I have always been told that answers will be revealed to you when Spirit considers you are capable of handling things. This is something I have always found to be true. Spirit has never let me down on that end. There has been several answers fulfilled in a short amount of time that has led me home to my Native American roots. Spirit works in his own time frame not ours. The more I start to study and learn of the Native American beliefs the more my faith returns to a solid foundation. I don't fear the unknown. I don't question what type of worship I should be doing. I have found my home.