My weight issues didn't start until after the birth of our last child. Pregnancy definitely changes your body. When I began to fight my battle I weighed in at 250 lbs. I am now down to 233. That's not a lot of weight but then again it is. Learning how to maintain a lower weight is a struggle all on its own. I have to say it's also by the grace of God that I have managed this.
At first I believed the hype of all I needed to do was watch what I ate, how much I ate, calories in and calories out, exercise like I was possessed. To a certain degree I was possessed by addiction to food. Although I didn't come to realize this until a few years later.
I realized that I was also an emotional eater. Stress played a Huge part in my disordered eating. I had to start looking within, facing some of them demons and slaying their asses. It was hard to admit that I had started to eat in secret. It was hard not to constantly finish cleaning the kids plate. I didn't like food going t waste but by eating whatever they hadn't on their plates I was punishing myself and my body for no reason other than to conform to a rule made up by society standards.
I have tried every diet or fad coming and going. NONE OF THEM WORK! There is no quick fix or solution to our weight issues except facing ourselves. We get good at sweeping things under the rug, refusing to see the problem for what it is. We are taught that our worth is in our looks, our appearance, our body shape. The ONLY way that is true is because it is departmental to our over all health and well being.
I am now fighting Type 2 Diabetes. Not where I want to be. Once again at the advice of my doctor I tried another weight loss drug which sent me to the ER and then having to see a specialist afterwards because I ended up having an allergic reaction. But I was so desperate for some kind of hope, to believe that I had finally found a doctor that cared about her patients. Yeah I was mistaken cause I was told if I had kept to the food plan that I would never had that allergic reaction to the weight loss drug. It was My fault.
My family and my husband is supportive of me in losing the weight but they don't understand the battle with it because they don't have these body issues. It's hard for someone to understand everything that goes into a person gaining and then fighting to lose it all when they have never had to worry about what they eat.
It is all part of a mindset but that is only half the battle. When you're a person battling with mental health issues to begin with it makes things even harder. Add in the fact that I went into menopause early due to a partial hysterectomy, yeah that didn't help either. I am not a gym person. I have listened to podcast, I have joined online groups for community and accountability and none of it worked.
Even now that I struggle with type 2 I still have trouble with disordered eating. I move forward a step and move back three. So I finally hit a point where I asked God to help me regain my health and turn it around. It is still a slow process cause yes while he is helping he isn't going to do all the work for you. Although I wish sometimes he would, you know? It'd make my life a lot easier but see that's the thing we have all gotten use to life being easier to where we didn't need to hold ourselves accountable or keep any type of boundaries around our health.
So I decided to try something new. I am doing a bible study on losing weight.
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